With two teenage boys and full-time jobs, Ann and Dave Enzman had a busy life.
Deep down, however, they felt something was missing.
"It had always been a hope of mine to have a family that included a daughter," Ann Enzman says.
Adoption had been a positive experience for several of their friends, so they began to look into the process.
"We've
seen so many blessings come from adoption in different family
situations," she says. "We could see ourselves in that place."
The Enzmans brought their daughter Katie home from China in 2010.
For their friends Susan and Donald Mellinger, the process took a little more time.
"We
did not always think about adoption," says Susan Mellinger, who brought
their son, Jordan, home from China in 2013. "We were supportive of
those who did, but at first we could not imagine doing it ourselves."
Two examples
The
stories of the Enzman and Mellinger families, both of Manheim Township,
are two examples of the international adoptions Bethany Christian
Services will spotlight at an open house Thursday, Nov. 5.
Katie and Jordan, who are both 10 years old, have special needs. The meeting will also focus on special-needs adoption.
As Jessica A. Armato, an adoption caseworker at Bethany explains,
“
‘Special needs' is a very broad description that includes children with
minor correctable needs, to more significant, lifelong, special needs."
Some children are "special needs" simply because they are older 6, she says.
"We
hope that attendees will develop a better understanding of the great
need that exists in many countries around the world," she says, "and
that adopting internationally is not as daunting as some would think. We
want people to learn of the unique joys and challenges of parenting
adopted children who have special needs."
Traveled to China
The
Enzmans began their adoption process in 2007 and initially did not
focus on a special-needs child. As time passed, they began to feel
called to consider a special-needs adoption, according to Enzman.
In
2010, the family, which includes Eric and Alex, now 20 and 17,
respectively, traveled to China to meet their new addition. Enzman
recalls that it was an easy transition from the start.
"We felt that Katie was the one meant for our family," she says. "From day one, the bonding that was happening was wonderful."
Language
was a barrier, she acknowledges, but Katie has a great sense of humor
and "she was able to get her point across very quickly."
As
soon as she could express herself, she began to ask her new parents for
help: She wanted them to adopt her friend from China as well.
Katie
was born with a heart condition and has had open heart surgery. There
were three children with heart problems where Katie lived in China, and
they were often separated from the others, Enzman says. Katie had
especially bonded with a little boy.
"She would keep saying, 'Go get him. Go get him, Mommy,' " her mother recalls.
The Enzmans initially entertained the idea of adopting the boy but soon realized it wasn't the best plan for their family.
After sharing their story one day at church, Enzman hoped a family would feel moved to consider adopting the boy.
Prayers answered
Her prayers were answered by the Mellinger family.
"Through
prayer and encouragement from our older children, we made the decision
to go ahead and pursue adopting him," Mellinger says. "We really felt
called to do it."
The process of bringing Jordan home was a long one. "I call it my 15-month paper pregnancy," she says.
But by December 2013, the family was able to travel to China to meet the boy, who was 8½ at the time.
Although Jordan now has smoothly adapted to life with his new family, the beginning was challenging, his mother says.
Jordan
was born with a cleft lip and palate, which has been repaired, but he
is still undergoing extensive dental work, speech therapy, orthodontics
and plastic surgery.
His congenital heart condition required him to undergo open heart surgery just months after his arrival in the U.S.
In
addition, "Jordan came to us having had no formal education, so he had
to start from the beginning," Mellinger says. "He had to learn his ABCs,
how to hold a pencil. He couldn't read or write."
Well prepared
The Mellingers say they were well prepared for the challenges and knew the rewards were worth it.
"It
took a year, or maybe a little more, for my kids to fully adapt,"
Mellinger says. "It's not an easy journey, but it's been a joy."
Today,
Jordan's an active second-grader at Veritas Academy in Leola and enjoys
spending time with his siblings, Rachel, 15, and Ryan, 14.
He also enjoys regular play dates with his friend Katie, a fourth-grader who is home-schooled and lives only a few minutes away.
"They've
been in swim lessons together. We jokingly say they are like brother
and sister. They picked up right where they left off," Enzman says.
While
adoption has proven to be a positive experience for both the Mellinger
and Enzman families, Mellinger points out that it's not a decision to be
taken lightly and that it's important to have a support system in
place.
"When I think
of people who supported us, from friends who brought us meals to friends
who watched Jordan a couple days a week while I worked, to family who
checked in on us — they made it all possible," she says. "To do
something like this in a bubble would be really hard."
First step
A good first step, she says, is to attend a session like the one offered by Bethany Christian Services.
"Gather
information, and know as much as you can about it but without
overanalyzing it," Mellinger advises, adding that it's important to be
open to the unknown.
"Like with any big decision in life, you can never know everything. If we know everything, we might not do anything."
The
session at Bethany will offer information and an opportunity to hear
from families who have adopted, says Lea M. Denlinger, an adoption
caseworker.
"It's
important for families to educate themselves about the needs of the
children, the process and the resources available to them," she says.
"It is important for families to talk with others who have already
adopted internationally."
Enzman says adoption has made their family truly complete.
"It's
been an amazing journey for us," she says. "For people who feel called
to do it, adoption is a wonderful journey and blessing."
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