The first year of child schooling is trial period for parents

The first year of schooling is not only one of the most difficult stages in life child, but also a kind of trial period for parents. First, it is during this period requires their maximum participation in the child’s life. Secondly, when early learning clearly show all their flaws. Thirdly, if there good intentions, but the lack of a psychologically literate approach, the parents themselves often become perpetrators of school stress in children.

At the same time in the 1st class, the Foundation for the relationship of the child to school and training. For children the most successfully passed this stage their lives, their parents need to know and take into account daily features mental and physiological state of children, arising from the beginning learning in the school.

School from the first days puts before the child a number of tasks requiring the mobilization of his intellectual and physical strength. Children are very difficulties many aspects of the educational process. They find it difficult to sit through a lesson in the same posture, it is difficult not to be distracted and to follow the thought of the teacher, it is difficult to do time is not what you want, and what they require, it is difficult to hold back and not Express aloud their thoughts and emotions that appear in abundance. Besides, guys don’t immediately learn new rules of behavior with adults, did not immediately accept the position teachers and establish distance in relationship with him and others adults in the school provided for the post by International Adoption research blogger and columnist.

So you need time to adapt to schooling, the child accustomed to new conditions and learned how to meet the new requirements.

           Adaptation to school is a multifaceted process. Its components are physiological adaptation and socio-psychological adaptation (to teachers and their demands, to classmates).

           Physiological adaptation.

Getting used to new conditions and requirements, the child’s body goes through several stages:

1) First 2-3 weeks of training called “physiological storm”. During this period, all new impact the child’s body responds to significant voltage of almost all of their systems, that is, children spend a large portion of resources of the organism. This explains the fact that in September many first graders are sick.

2) the Next stage of adaptation – volatile device. The child’s body finds reasonable, near-optimal versions of the reactions to the new conditions.

3) After that, a period of relatively stable fixture. The body responds to the load with less stress.

The total length of the adaptation period varies from 2 to 6 months in depending on the individual characteristics of the student.

Many parents and teachers tend to underestimate the complexity of the period physiological adaptation of first-graders. However, according to the observations of physicians, some children lose weight by the end of the 1st quarter, many decline blood pressure (a sign of fatigue), and some a significant increase (sign of fatigue). Not surprisingly, many first graders complain of headaches, tiredness, and other ailments in 1st quarter. Manifestations of difficulties of addiction and the surge of the body can also cause moodiness children at home, reducing ability to self-regulation of behavior.

Will not be superfluous to remember about all of this before, blame the kid in laziness and shirking from his new responsibilities, but also to remember, what difficulties with health he has.

Risk factors in the child’s development can be extremely varied: this and diseases of the mother during pregnancy, and features of course of childbirth, and diseases carried by the child during early childhood (especially in the first year of life), and of course, chronic diseases.

I want to draw the attention of parents to the fact that not only chronic diseases affecting the successful adaptation of children at school, but frequent colds, which many parents do not attach much importance. Consider even common cold. From various ailments and he seems to be the most harmless. However, we note that the shortness of nasal breathing provides a sufficient amount of oxygen in the lungs and in the brain, which leads to fatigue, poor health and, in the end, to the educational backlog.

Children who have persistent difficulties with health, in the school often faster become fatigued, their efficiency reduced teaching load may be too heavy.

These children need a special approach and attention of adults, learn more on international adoption at adoption agencies blog. First, you need if possible, reduce them to psychological stress. For this second half of the day they had better stay at home and not cram school, and it is desirable provide them with 2-hour NAPs. Secondly, we must not forget that physically weakened children need daily walks in the fresh air and a long night sleep (about 11 hours). And of course, you need to remember the need of psychological support. The child must be sure that his house is still loved and respected, despite all school difficulties.

Adolescence a period of “Storm and stress”

Personal development of a teenager is characterized by two main needs: on the one hand the need to prove oneself, the need to communicate with their peers, for leading activities in this age — intimate and personal.

These needs and form the basic features of mental development of a teenager. One of the main features of mental development can be considered a personal instability of a teenager. No wonder Stanley Hall called adolescence a period of “Storm and stress”. For in this period in the teenager’s personality co-exist directly opposite needs and features. Today, Your daughter humbly sitting with their relatives and talk about virtue. And tomorrow, depicting the face of war paint and punctures the ear a dozen earrings, go to disco, saying that “in life you have to experience everything”. And You have to wonder, does my daughter grows a hypocrite? But it’s nothing special (from the perspective of Your child) didn’t happen: she just changed her mind.

Parents and child agree on respecting a certain agreement

1. Democratic relationships: rights and performance of duties, an explanation of the requirements. Actually it looks like the following. Parents and child agree on respecting a certain agreement. Clearly assign duties and determine the degree of “punishment” if the agreement is not met. We must not forget that the implementation of the provisions of the agreement are complied with by all parties on an equal footing. A lot of these families based on trust and respect for the opinions of each. This style of relationship is complicated, requiring a lot of patience. But he further does not alienate children from their parents. And allows lot to decide not prejudice to the merits of each other, without offending any of the members of the family.

2. Authoritarian style: tight control, causes of requirements of parents are not explained (like, “baby, I said so.”). The teenager often resists this style of relationship. This can manifest itself in 2 lines of conduct:

– Insubordination and fighting (if the teenager belongs to a strong type). And then a sleepless night is guaranteed. And permanently damaged the relationship too.

– A lack of confidence, immaturity and dependency (if the child belongs to the weaker type). This is also not very great. Because this option often grow infantile children. Not priuchavshee to independence and responsibility for their actions, the child will not be able to solve their own problems. And another “strong” – will often be able to subdue such a child.

3. Tight control with a lack of emotion. Some parents believe that the key to parenting is just to keep track of progress and contact with the child. When you bring this attitude to “Lessons made? Well and well done. Sit down with something and I do not bother”. The child feels abandoned and not needed. The lack of heat develops mistrust, often rigidity (because the child often does not know what it means to love, to sympathize, to feel sorry). The need for love, he compensates for by communicating with their peers (and socializing in large volume). Can start to get involved in drugs, as a means of “oblivion” from the problems. Often, these children begin to make offenses, petty theft. In this way, they are subconsciously trying to attract attention to themselves and their problems.

4. The lack of control with a lack of emotional relationships. These relationships give the feeling of permissiveness, because there is no full responsibility for the child. Parents only think about themselves (their business), and often in such families the child is just an irritant. And it feels unnecessary and unloved. This style of relationship leads to the fact that badly in need of parents (in support) the teenager begins to seek solace in other people. Such children often run away from home, skipping class. They become dependent on others. They can exploit not with the best of intentions. Girls can start looking for “adventure” on side, because the “greedy” sweet words. And often become sexual victims of men (or other older Teens), succumbed to “good” attitude on his part. Boys can start to establish itself at the expense of the weak and to be cruel.

5. Hyper strong emotional contact. Such parents do not give yourself to develop to your children. They think for them, decide what to do. And it all served as the “It’s all for your own good”. Don’t let go for a moment. And if that’s not their rules – reach for the heart and accuse their children of callousness. Over time, the kids raised in this style, there are difficulties in communication. They remain infantile “minicinema” sons/daughters.

6. High expectations of parents. In this style of relationship the parents have a lot of demands and claims to the child, recording in many sections. And in General too are trying to diversify of the child. At the same time the child is not very taken into account. English, music, tennis, chess, swimming, dancing – this is an incomplete list of wishes that parents must know the child. And that’s not counting the fact that he must study hard, to help parents around the house (and the country). Parents with half of this list don’t know how, learn more on international adoption at adoption agencies blog. But it did not bother them. The child becomes a “carrier” of life plans parents. A child’s success you can brag about it (parents amuse their vanity, “they say, here’s my what!”). And each miss is accompanied by claims such as: “Well, as always! Even this could not do. Here I am in your age….” (this is followed by memories of “Superman” abilities of both parents). With this parenting style in adolescents is formed anxiety, fears, and life the motive of fear of failure and avoiding failure provided for the post by International Adoption research blogger and columnist.

Each style has its advantages and disadvantages. Each family is trying to develop their own style. Importantly, this relationship brought You joy and sense of comfort to all Your family members.

Problems of moral education

Problems of moral education: child’s personality – such as duty, honor, conscience and dignity

“In education, it is important to ensure that ethical and moral truths are not just understandable, but also would be the purpose of every person’s life, subject to individual pursuits and personal happiness”. ( I. F. Svadkovskii 1977, – 11).

Issues of moral development, upbringing and perfection of a man worried about the society always and at all times. Especially now that more and more can be found cruelty and violence, the problem of moral education is becoming increasingly important. Who does not like the teacher, having the opportunity to influence the education of the child should give this issue a crucial role in its activity. And that is why the aim of the teacher is to shield the infant from the world of cruelty and rudeness, to acquaint the child with the principles of morality and ethics, shaping moral ideas and concepts.

The core in the General system of comprehensive development of personality is moral education. Moral education is a process aimed at the formation and development of holistic personality of the child, and involves the formation of country, society, the collective, the people, to labour, their duties and to himself.

The task of moral education is that the socially necessary requirements of society, the teachers turned to the internal incentives of each child’s personality, such as duty, honor, conscience, dignity, learn more on international adoption at adoption agencies blog.

Solutions to the problems of moral education can be carried out in the process of special training, and in his spare time can be used for ethical discussions, competitions, thematic leisure.

To implement a program of moral education of students, it is very extensive and covers the range of moral relations, which is clearly manifest moral qualities. The structure of the educational process consists of raising environment, upbringing and understanding of the pupil his life in relation to the surrounding reality provided for the post by International Adoption research blogger and columnist.

The basis of education, defining moral development is the formation of humanistic relationship children, regardless of the content, methods, forms of educational work. The process of education aimed at the development of all children, should be structured to ensure the optimal development of each child, based on the individuality of each child.

In the education of any moral qualities are different means of training. In the General system of moral education occupies an important place group of funds, directed on formation of moral judgments, valuations, concepts, in the teaching of moral beliefs. This group includes the ethical talks, lectures, debates on ethical issues.

Many teachers rightly say that professionally make use of the resources of moral education is much more difficult than the usual lesson. The feature of conducting ethical discussions and debates about morality is that it is not in any case should not go into excessive edification, conversation should contain more discussions with children situations that have moral content. Topics depend on the age characteristics of children, level of moral readiness, and the teacher should plan and discuss with children the most for their questions.

Knowledge of moral norms has a prerequisite of moral behavior, but knowledge alone is not enough. The criterion of moral education can only be real actions of children, their motivations. The desire, the willingness and ability to consciously abide by the rules of morality can be raised only in the course of long practice, the child is only practicing moral action.

Speaking about morality, we mean the behavior of people, a set of rules that govern society, as measured from the position of good and evil. A huge role in the sphere of morality, moral feelings play. Morality enshrined in such concepts as “good”, “honor”, “conscience”, “justice”. All of these concepts are evaluative in nature.

Direct impact on the acquisition of moral values lies with the teacher. The result of this process depends on how the teacher presents it to the child. Cheerful emotional state of knowing the world is a characteristic feature of the spiritual life of children’s personality.

The word of the master is a kind of tool impact on the education of the individual child. It is through conversation with teacher, spiritual development, self-education, the joy of achieving that noble work open human eyes to himself. Self-knowledge, self-improvement, the ability to be alone with her own soul, devoted to the work of the teacher, his special talks. We encourage our students to be truthful and honest with yourself, set a goal in life, to achieve which it was necessary to solve the problem, which correspond to the rules of morality, and never contrary to true ethical standards.

Moral education is the Foundation of all foundations, in terms of what the teacher has put into the soul of the child at this age will depend on what he will build in the future, will build its relations with others. Parenting is an art and this art is that the person we educate, humanized world of things that come into his life, he should feel them in the human – intelligence, wisdom, love for people. If the child did not survive, it will be alien to genuine human keenness of perception.

The fullness of human happiness lies in the development of all creative abilities and powers of man, in the richness of spiritual life in the consciousness of things, which give their strength. In moral education it is important not only to articulate moral consciousness, moral sense, and most importantly, to enable the younger pupils in various activities that disclose their moral relations.

In order to objectively assess the state of the problems of moral education at the present stage, it is necessary to make a clear analysis of events, repeatedly in practice to conduct various interviews and discussions, but at the moment the results of the research can say with certainty, how great the importance of this problem that the school required special additional classes that systematize and deepen the view of younger students.

The problem with child identity

The problem of identity, in its various aspects (dynamics, structure, types, etc.) is a major one in modern psychological science. The term “identity” in the Russian language is used infrequently and primarily in the sense of “identity”, but E. Erikson meant by identity wholeness and also continuity of personality. The formation of identity is the most important task of its development.

E. Erickson created his theory of identity, based on the clinical analysis of the variability of “I” in the neuroses. The exceptional importance of the phenomenon of identity has become clear to Erickson in the course of psychotherapeutic practice after the second world war. His patients were soldiers returning to the pursuits of peace. Bravely enduring all the hardships of war, they suffered from neuroses in their lives peacefully. Patients had the following symptoms: fear, anxiety, isolation, the loss of the ability to emotional communication. The combination of these symptoms, according to E. Erickson, was inherent in blurred identity. The cause of such complex of neurotic symptoms E. Erickson saw the changing social conditions of existence of the individual. Soldiers in the army occupied a clearly defined place in society, were included in social relationships, have a strong purpose and value system, specific abilities and personal qualities required to perform military duties. After the war, soldiers had to engage in new social relations, to find a new place in postwar society. In other words, the soldiers had to form a new identity to replace the old. The difficulties of such restructuring and caused a neurotic condition, E. Erikson as diffuse, or loss of identity.

E. Erickson explored the socio-psychological mechanisms and means of identity formation in the process of growing up human. The scientist has constructed a schema of human development, highlighting eight stages covering the whole life – from birth to old age. Its model E. Erickson based on the epigenetic principle, taken from embryology: each stage of development contains moments which are decisive for further evolution.

The identity of the subject creates a sense of stability and continuity of the self, despite the changes that occur to the human being in its growth and development, learn more on international adoption at adoption agencies blog. The transition from one form to another identity causes a crisis of identity. The first solid form of identity is formed in adolescence (E. Erickson does not emit separately adolescence). This period is characterized by the deepest crisis. This crisis draws the three lines of development: rapid physical growth and puberty; emotional instability and concern, “how do I look in the eyes of others”, “what am I”; the need to find their professional vocation that meets the acquired skills, individual abilities and demands of society.

Youth age, according to E. Erickson, is built around a crisis of identity consisting of a series of social and personal election, and identification and determination. If the youth cannot solve these problems, he formed a blurred identity, the development of which can go along four main lines:

1. psychological withdrawal from intimacy, avoidance of close interpersonal relationships;

2. the erosion of the sense of time, inability to build life plans, fear of growing up and of change;

3. the erosion of productive, creative ability, inability to mobilize their internal resources and focus on priority activities;

4. the formation of a “negative identity”, the rejection of self-determination and the choice of samples for negative behavior provided for the post by International Adoption research blogger and columnist.

The canadian researcher James Marcia in 1996 identified four stages of identity development, measured by the extent of professional, religious and political self-determination of the young man.

1. “Uncertain, vague identity” is characterized by the fact that the individual did not yet have any clear beliefs, chose a profession and not faced with a crisis of identity.

2. “Early, premature identification” occurs when an individual is involved in an appropriate system of relations, but did not do it on their own , and as a result of the experience of crisis and trials, and on the basis of foreign opinions, following someone else’s example or authority.

3. For stage of “Moratorium” is characterized by the fact that the individual is in the process of normative identity crisis, choosing from the numerous variants of development the only one who can call his own.

4. At the stage reached, “ Mature identity” crisis has been completed, the individual passed from the search itself to practical realization.

A teenager with an uncertain identity may come to the stage of the moratorium and then reach a Mature identity, but can also remain permanently at the blurred identity level or almost on the way of early identification, abandoning active choice and self-determination. Nevertheless, the concept of “Mature identity” and its criteria are ambiguous, since the peculiarities of individual development depend on many factors. Equally important for the formation of identity is the social environment. In our country, it is because a drastic change of the social situation in the last decade, broke the identity of adults, and the impact on the younger generation.

Child reflects all his desires and fears

By the end of adolescence formed a stable system of internally coherent perceptions of the self (theory of the self). While it may not coincide with the real “I” or the way parents see their child.

In 11-12 years child wants to understand, what it is, that is to build their ideal self. Self-knowledge happens through friends: teen compares themselves with others, analyzes. A teen reflection: friendship is of a confessional character, writing diaries and poems. In them, the child reflects all their desires, fears…

The original images are different:

– I – physical (ideas about how your body looks, figure),

I – intellectual (thinking skills are assessed),

– I – the nature of (what I as a person, friend; this includes behavioural traits).

The images are not linked, but at a different degree of realism. Thus, you get a perfect idea of the ideal “I”. Beliefs about themselves dynamic and unstable. These views are only emerging, so teenagers are sensitive to words, etc.

We can say that the built in “I – concept”, the teenager and trying to develop (especially if it’s not the real “I”). For example, a physically disabled child in “self – concept” laid – healthy. Such a child will attempt to tighten yourself physically. And often it will work out (though not fully).

If the level of claims is high, and awareness of their capabilities is not likely to occur neuroticism (resentment, stubbornness – like symptoms inconsistencies “I” and ideal “I” is real).

When the awareness of “I” – right there is a real opportunity to correct their “deficiencies”, to improve themselves, i.e. to take the first steps of self-actualization.

The main task of the parents to help the child learn how to assess yourself, but do not be upset, and calmly solve problems step by step.

Changes in levels of self-regulation: able to delay the desire, to weigh the possibilities and the real situation. Still, most teenagers believe in the miracle.

At the end of adolescence, the images are added together.

There is a SECOND BIRTH of the PERSON.

What will Your child depends on You and Your relationship. We hope that the knowledge about the complexities of adolescence and the laws of its development will help You to avoid many mistakes and save children a good relationship provided for the post by International Adoption research blogger and columnist.

 

 

“independence” is one of the main conflicts between parents and children

A sense of adulthood – the primary tumor of adolescence.

     From the outside the teenager changes nothing: studying in the same school (unless, of course, parents are suddenly transferred to another), living in the same family. All in the family the child is treated as “small”. Much he does himself, and many do not allow parents, which still have to obey. Parents fed, watered, clothed their child, and for the good (from their point of view) behavior, and may even “reward (again, at their discretion). Real adulthood is far away, but want! Change they yet have nothing, but apparently imitate adults. Hence there appear the attributes of “pseudotranslate”: Smoking cigarettes, hanging out at the entrance, a trip outside the city (external manifestation “I also have my personal life”). Copying any relationship. For example, if the family do not respect any of its members, it will also do the son (daughter). And no words like “Elders must be respected!” will not help. The child will simply reflect, as a mirror, as Your relationship problems. If (God forbid!) in families with a child cursing, then he will swear the same to You, using Your own words. But still wonder: “Why can You and not for me? Because I’m an adult!”

But in the copy relationship is a positive thing. Because external copying adult relationships is a kind of a busting roles, games that occur in life. You have the option of adolescent socialization. And where else can you practice in your family? Perhaps You have noticed how often the teenager changes his behavior today, is kind and gentle, tomorrow – mannered, and next week – hooligan “as a neighbor’s Vova”. One of the Teens entering life marked in a variety of ways (driving the household to insanity). Some, on the contrary, is expressed in caring for others.

The appearance of a teenager is another source of conflict. Changing your gait, manners, appearance. A kind of social mimicry in the teenage environment. Thus the adolescents expressed the need for security. Not to stand out among the others, otherwise you will be laughed at. And kids can be very cruel to not like the others.

     Internally, the following happens. The teenager appears has its own position. He considers himself to have enough adults and treated as adults. This is manifested in the following:

1. Wish that all (teachers, parents) treated him like an equal, an adult. But it will not confuse, what rights it requires more than taking on responsibilities. And be responsible for something the teenager is not willing (except in words).

2. The desire for independence. And according to this monitoring and assistance is rejected. Increasingly, the teenager can be heard: “I know!” (This so reminds malyshovom “I do!”). And parents have to accept and try to teach their children responsible for their actions. It is useful to them through life. Unfortunately, such “independence” is one of the main conflicts between parents and children at this age.

3. The emergence of own tastes and opinions, evaluations, line of conduct (the most striking is the appearance of addiction to certain kinds of music). We must remember that our children want to grow up quickly, and also different from us, parents. And have “your” mistakes that we once did ourselves. But who believes a word? Times are changing rapidly. And with them our children. What was in fashion at one time, considered to be “retro” to another, learn more on international adoption at adoption agencies blog. This also applies to attitudes, and behavior, and other things. Each generation in its own way expresses the belonging to his own time. Try to understand their children. To listen their point of view and arguments. You may not entirely agree with them. But it will be another opportunity for you to teach them how to defend their opinion, competent to argue. But if they will be able to defend your position, is that so bad?

4. Compliance with the moral code of mateship, which is the same everywhere, and from a culture and country. The code is expressed in a clear style of behavior towards peers provided for the post by International Adoption research blogger and columnist. But it is important in a relationship are:

– mutual support

– assist in

– emotional comfort in communication

– confidentiality

– you cannot criticize

– you cannot teach

– not jealous

– respect the internal world of another

With those who do not respect these rules of the Association, can be very cruel. They may be “rejected” all and suffer persecution.