Child reflects all his desires and fears

By the end of adolescence formed a stable system of internally coherent perceptions of the self (theory of the self). While it may not coincide with the real “I” or the way parents see their child.

In 11-12 years child wants to understand, what it is, that is to build their ideal self. Self-knowledge happens through friends: teen compares themselves with others, analyzes. A teen reflection: friendship is of a confessional character, writing diaries and poems. In them, the child reflects all their desires, fears…

The original images are different:

– I – physical (ideas about how your body looks, figure),

I – intellectual (thinking skills are assessed),

– I – the nature of (what I as a person, friend; this includes behavioural traits).

The images are not linked, but at a different degree of realism. Thus, you get a perfect idea of the ideal “I”. Beliefs about themselves dynamic and unstable. These views are only emerging, so teenagers are sensitive to words, etc.

We can say that the built in “I – concept”, the teenager and trying to develop (especially if it’s not the real “I”). For example, a physically disabled child in “self – concept” laid – healthy. Such a child will attempt to tighten yourself physically. And often it will work out (though not fully).

If the level of claims is high, and awareness of their capabilities is not likely to occur neuroticism (resentment, stubbornness – like symptoms inconsistencies “I” and ideal “I” is real).

When the awareness of “I” – right there is a real opportunity to correct their “deficiencies”, to improve themselves, i.e. to take the first steps of self-actualization.

The main task of the parents to help the child learn how to assess yourself, but do not be upset, and calmly solve problems step by step.

Changes in levels of self-regulation: able to delay the desire, to weigh the possibilities and the real situation. Still, most teenagers believe in the miracle.

At the end of adolescence, the images are added together.

There is a SECOND BIRTH of the PERSON.

What will Your child depends on You and Your relationship. We hope that the knowledge about the complexities of adolescence and the laws of its development will help You to avoid many mistakes and save children a good relationship provided for the post by International Adoption research blogger and columnist.