Thursday, December 10, 2015

The offender, and the offended in this situation are often children themselves

Child is formed by his will, needs, motives and activities

Primary school age (7-8 years old) account for one of the crisis periods of childhood. In this period the formation of the emotional sphere of the child is formed by his will, needs, motives, activities, lays down the main ways of responding to environmental exposures. The most significant feature of the crisis of 7 years can be called the beginning of differentiation of the internal and external sides of the child’s personality.
For 7-8 years of age is typical visitation-personal communication. The child learns to build closer, deeper and longer relationships with peers. Building such relationships is complicated by the fact that the feelings of children are not random. Violations in the sphere of communication, conflict, separation – signs of the child’s adaptation to the surrounding world, causes serious emotional and personal problems in the future.
It should be noted that the problem of the emotions in modern psychology is much less developed than other areas of psychological knowledge. In addition, the uncertainty of the notion “emotional state” greatly complicates the conduct of research.
Resentment is an emotional experience characteristic of the younger school student. The circle of people important in the child’s life, is gradually expanding. If preschooler for a particularly meaningful relationship with their parents, 7-year-old child are determining relationships with teachers and peers. Children learn to defend their positions, their opinions, their right to autonomy – the right to be equal in communication with others. A clash of different cultures verbal and emotional communication. And it can not cause voltage relations, even open conflict. The level of development thinking of the child is such that it is dominated by contrasting black and white logic. Therefore, the relationship children are sometimes polar and peremptory. The resulting simplicity and straightforwardness of estimates – the characteristics of the relations of Junior schoolchildren.
What is the function of the emotion of resentment in the formation of a child’s personality? What is its psychological structure? Does the character experience the resentment and its forgiveness from the sex of the baby? What strategies are used younger students in order to be reconciled, to forgive? The answer to these questions is the aim of the study, carried out in 2000. The sample consisted of 26 respondents – children 1-2 classes in secondary schools, aged 7-8 years.
In the psychological structure Yu. M. Orlov identified three elements: expectations, reality, and evaluation.
  1. Expectations. In the situation of communication, we inadvertently build expectations about the behavior of another person based on us. This should ensure the coherence and effectiveness of our actions.
  2. Reality. The act of perception of the conduct of another. His behavior may conform to the model or adversely deviate from it.
  3. Assessment. The behavior of the other must match the model of expected behavior. In the case of a detected nonconformity occurs the disagreement. This “misalignment” that causes suffering is called resentment.
It is possible to formulate a General rule: any misalignment of expectations and reality, action and result, that is, any disintegration of the whole, causing an unpleasant feeling.
The human body reacts to a perceived violation of either the automatic adaptive responses or adaptive actions, focused and potentially conscious. In the first case we are talking about the unconscious behavioral responses or psychological defense mechanisms. In the second case there is a conscious coping behavior. The word “coping” comes from the old Russian “lad”, “boss” and means “to make”, “to order”, “to subdue circumstances”. To denote the conscious efforts of the individual, taken in a situation of psychological the threat (and an insult, no doubt, refers to such situations), use the concept of coping behavior, as a conscious strategy of coping with stress and with other generating worrying developments.
Conducted experimental psychological research has shown that the offense perceived by children as overt conflict. And the offender, and the offended in this situation are often children themselves. The number of fixations younger students emotionally identify themselves with an injured (84%). The nature of grievances experienced (reason, typical situation, source, etc.) is generally not dependent on the sex of the baby. The most typical situations in which there is a feeling of resentment, were named: breaking the rules (50%), infringement of financial interests (35%), humiliation, humiliation (15%).
However, boys tend to attach greater importance to the infringement of his material interests, conflicts on the level of physical sphere (“pushed”, “someone hit someone”). It is interesting to note that, anticipating the situation, boys are twice as likely to give positive responses (“agree and play together”). While his solution to the conflict situation (“How would you respond?”) often has a destructive nature (“give back, was to defend”, “you like this”).
Among the strategies of forgiveness are the most popular coping strategy facing the future, further development of the relationship (“about”, “how to negotiate anything”). They are used by more than 70% of the children surveyed. This view is shared by both girls and boys.
Interestingly, more than 60% of the respondents to resolve the situation would get the help of a third party (adult), and only 28% of children seeking to cope with conflict, which arose resentment.
Fundamental differences between girls and boys has caused two coping strategies: “fight back, “defend” and “‘ll cry, to be sad”. The first most preferred by boys and the other girls. Overall the boys closer position strong resistance to the abuser (both physically and verbally). Girls recognize that a “softer” way (to postpone resolution or emotional acting out through tears) it helps them cope with negative feelings.
The most common use were identified as three strategies for overcoming resentment: “to take turns”, “don’t talk to the abuser”, “rude answer”. They are used less than 30% of children. The last two strategies reinforce the gap, thus symbolically returning the child to the past.
The choice of strategy is due to the current situation, previous experiences, gender and age of the child. The richer Arsenal of the choice of coping behavior, the more successful adaptation of children to society. Deterrence is an ineffective tool to manage emotions, because the associated energy accumulates in the unconscious and then looking for an excuse for their expression provided for the post by International Adoption research blogger and columnist. The energy of anger concealed often results in inappropriate behavior that causes illness.
Negative emotions, particularly the emotion of resentment, are an objective reality, which accompanies man throughout his life. The features of their manifestation and coping strategies need to be identified, studied, interpreted, help to realize and to learn to use.

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