Shadow increases as how our consciousness rejects it

It was then that I saw an unforgettable dream at the same time and scared
me, and encouraged. I was in an unfamiliar place and slowly walked forward in
a dense fog towards a strong, almost Gale-force wind. In the hands I held
a small light that at any moment could go off. And everything depended on
also, I will save his life. Suddenly I felt that someone's coming for me
and, looking back, saw a huge black figure. She followed me on
heels. And at the same moment, despite the horror that engulfed me, I realized that I should
to go and despite all hazards, to carry, to save my little flame.
Waking up, I realized that this "brokensky Ghost" - just my
own shadow on the cloud created a play of light that twinkle. I
realized, that this light is the only light I had was my
consciousness, my only treasure. And though in comparison with the forces of darkness
the fire was small and weak, yet it is the light, my only light.
 This dream were for me a revelation: I now know that "number 1" was
the bearer of light, and "number 2" followed him like a shadow. And my task was
to keep the light on, not looking back at the vita peracta, which is closed for the
light. I must go forward, to break through casts me back
the wind, to go in the immeasurable darkness of the world where there is nothing where I can see only
the external shape, visible and deceptive, that invisible and hidden. I, my
"the number 1" must learn to earn money, have to live, defeating
difficulties, to err and to suffer defeat. The storm that hit on me -
this time, constantly going and constantly overtaking me. It is a powerful
whirlpool, which draws everything to avoid it, and then only for a moment
the only one who irresistibly forward. The past is terribly real,
and it devours anyone who fails to pay off the correct answer.
 So, in my views of the world has been a turn of 90 degrees: I
learned that my path runs outside, and, pulling out, he falls into
the limitations and darkness of three-dimensionality. Probably the same way Adam
once left heaven, who had become a phantom, and the light  opened there
where in the sweat of his brow he will have to plow a rocky field.
 At the time I asked myself: where are these dreams? I used to
it seemed that their God sends - somnia a Deo missa. But now that I
was introduced to all kinds of scientific builds, I began to have doubts.
Assuming, for example, my understanding developed and formed
slowly, and in the dream, suddenly there came a breakthrough? Looks like it was so.
The only question is why it happened and why to sink in? I
nothing was taken deliberately, in order to impose such the order of things,
on the contrary, my sympathies were entirely on the other side. Goes, really
there is something - behind the scenes - a mind, i.e. something more reasonable
than I myself. I could not conceive that, in the light of consciousness the inner world will be
to look like a giant shadow. And I learned much that I did not understand before,
- why people when referring to me about the phenomena of the inner world
appears the cold shadow of confusion and alienation.
 So, you should forget about the "number 2", but in any case not to refuse
from it and not think that he does not exist. It would distort my "I" and more
that would deprive me of the opportunity to explain the origin of dreams. "The room
2" was undoubtedly somehow linked with the occurrence of dreams, I
he was willing to accept it for the same Higher intelligence that inspired them. But
I felt more and more become "number 1", i.e., only part -
the movable part is a broader, catch-all "room 2", which
really was a Ghost named me the "spirit of darkness".
 Of course, I have such a thought, although still vaguely
aware of this (looking back now I'm sure), whilewhat
feelings told otherwise.
 So I "broke up" with the second "I", separating it from yourself and
giving him lead a completely Autonomous existence. I did not see it
with a specific personality, the way you do when it comes to
ghosts, although my country of origin it would be
of course. Whatever it was, but in the village people believe in such things.
 The only eye-catching feature of my "spirit" - its connection with the past, his
the length of time or, rather, its temporal infinity. I don't
knew it the report, likewise, had no representation
its location in space. He played the role extremely clear, always
while sort of on the periphery of my existence.

 People and in mental and spiritual sense comes into this world with
certain orientation that is inherent to this world, in accordance with
a familiar environment and surroundings - typically, this is a
parent world, a kind of "family spirit". Nevertheless, this "family spirit"
mostly bears the unconscious stamp of the"spirit of time". If "the spirit
family" is a consensus omnium (overall agreement. - lat.), this means
stability and peace, but most often we see the reverse cases that
creates a feeling of instability and uncertainty.
 Children primarily respond not to what adults say, but something
elusive in the spiritual atmosphere. The child unconsciously
adapts to it, and he having caused this atmosphere
traits. A special kind of religious experience that have appeared in
me already in early childhood were a natural reaction to the General spirit
parent's house. Religious doubt, which were later seizedmy
the father could not appear suddenly and suddenly. This kind of revolutionary
changes in the inner world of man, as in the world in General, for
long time cast a shadow on all around, and the shadow increases as
how our consciousness rejects it. And the more effort spent by the father on
wrestling with his inner doubts and anxiety, the stronger it is
reflected on me.
 I never thought there was influenced by her mother, she was
too strongly connected with some other fundamentals of life, which is unlikely
based on the hardness of her of the Christian faith. For me it was like something
connected with animals, trees, mountains, meadows and water currents - all
the fact that the most strangely contrasted with traditional external
the religiosity of the mother. This hidden side of her nature so answered my
own moods that I felt with her is amazingly easy and
confidently. She gave me the feeling of solid ground under my feet. Although I
could not imagine how "pagan" was this soil. But it
supported me in then began to shape the conflict between paternal
tradition and the influence of opposite forces, unconsciously agitated
me.